Dodgy, Phony, Pseudo Vows

This morning, I was still wondering what happened to my date last evening. Did, he forget? Did he have second thoughts? Should I have gone to knock at his door with the bottle of wine and say, 'I'm home, let's do dinner already?

I wondered to myself the whole time I was seated at the reception of this wonderful college I so want to join sooner than later, since I can't stomach my job any more.

I was interrupted by the security guy at the front desk ...

'Mbona watu hufanya harusi baada ya kuzaa watoto, na baada ya kuishi pamoja kwa miaka mingi? Haja gani nichukue msichana kutoka kwao kisha nimuweke kwangu kama bibi kabla sijajulishi wazee na jamii?

Now, where the heaven did that come from? So, he goes on to say that a picture he just saw in one of the dailies that he was perusing through made him think that. Well, according to my observation, a man can string a woman along for as long as is necessary for him. Don't get it twisted, don't misunderstand me (ok, even ladies string men along), but men are worse stringers. The moment you announce that you are heavy with child, that is the beginning of the end of the relationship. Next, he starts coming home late, drunk, answers back at you, calls you all the unprintable names ... the list is endless!

To be honest, I didn't know what to say to him. Human nature is very weird and very complicated. But such is life. I know of a number of people who stay together without any formal obligation. True, when a misfortune occurs, say death of one of the partners, an accident that incapacitates either or both ... who wil take care of the ensuing responsibilities? I wonder so too!

If I cannot afford to have a lavish wedding, complete with the stretch limos (which go for 10K per hour), 3 bus loads of relatives (known and imaginary) from the village beyond the last river, All Saint's Cathedral plus the Vicar, a photo shoot at the Windsor and a reception party at the Grand, sorry, it's now Laicos ... why bother?!

People have been known to apply for loans just to please a whole village in a matter of hours, then spend the rest of the next 10 or so years paying dearly (thanks to recession, banks peg their interest rates at 20% of the initial amount).

Then the white dress ... sorry white gown phenomenon. THa thing really beats me. Why would anyone in their right minds, put on a pure white gown yet they have been knockingboots with this guy for the 10 years they have been engaged, with 3 babies in tow?!

My simple answer to this person was, the thing is, most men don't want to marry a woman unless she can prove her fertility, and how does she do that?! She has to fall pregnant and give birth to a living young one, complete with ten toes, ten fingers, eyes, a nose and a pair of ears. Without that, that man you have been cohabiting with for the last 10 years will walk out on you like they never knew or saw you before. Such is life! Such are the laws of nature!

When you give it up - you are called lose, generous ... whatever derogatory term they see fit.
When you hold onto it like your dear life depended on it (come to think of it, your life does depend on it anyway) ... still you get those derogatory terms thrown at you.

At the end of the day, it's a man's world. I am not saying this summarily, but clearly, someone has tilted the weights to suit themselves.

And so the quest continues, why do people stay engaged for 20 years, then decide to get married and stay together for two years, then split up?

Such is life, such are the lawsof nature!!!!